Vongola Madness
by The Queen's Jack
Summary: Takeshi wasn't sure how he ended in this kind situation. He had long accepted the madness of a life in the mafia but serving as some sort of chastity belt for Tsunayoshi had not been in his plans. And honestly, Reborn probably read to many shoujo mangas to come up with that kind of plan. Oh well, he'd play along. MxM and 8027 fluff where Tsuna is his prey-like self.
1. Tsuna's Desperation

**Well, hello there ! I thought I'd try to add an idea of mine into the 8027 database -** _which is way to small if you ask me_. **I don't have it all planned right now but it's probably going to be a lot of fluff. I'm basically scratching an itch after all. Anyways, enjoy this first chapter :)**

 **N.B : Of course, none of this is mine except for the plot.**

* * *

Somehow Yamamoto Takeshi had never thought he would ever find himself in such a situation. Well, if he had to be honest, being part of the mafia wasn't exactly part of his plans either. And yet, at 25 and with a solid decade of madness behind him, even his happy-go-lucky self had to admit it, Takeshi wondered how his Famiglia still managed to surprise as often as it did. Of course he had known about the feellings most of his fellow guardians harbored for their small boss. Aside from said boss, nobody could miss them, but this was simply going too far. With a low chuckle, -how else could he react ?- Takeshi grabbed a teenage Lambo, stopping him from entering the bathroom to peek at Tsuna under the shower. The kid struggled to get free but Yamamoto was not that weak and he simply threw Lambo in the hall while laughing. Really, teenagers and their hormones.

"Honestly Lambo-kun, you shouldn't try to scare Tsuna like that!"

The lightning guardian glared at him, not convinced one bit by Takeshi's playful smile but decided to run nonetheless. They both knew the actual purpose wasn't exactly to "scare" Tsuna, although it was a very appreciated bonus. But Lambo wasn't suicidal. The rain guardian was a nice guy, he knew, and yet defying him would end in a lot a pain and, as bull-like as Lambo was, he liked being alive. He would have to try again later, when Takeshi wasn't around or distracted by someone else.

Still in front of Tsuna's door, Takeshi sighed. It was the third time he had had to fend off one his boss' suitors this morning. Gokudera had tried to force feed him at breakfast and Hibari had managed, nobody knew how, to corner Tsuna in an alcove of the Varia Compound even though he was supposed to be back from Namimori the next day. Honestly, Takeshi was kinda lost. Of course, he realised Tsuna was... appealing. But he really didn't get why they all, aside from Ryohei who only had eyes Kurokawa, seemed to have fallen madly in love with the Vongola Decimo. Sure, Tsuna was cute and kind and cool... Well, he guessed these were the reasons, that and the bond they all had because of all the trials they had to overcome together. Still, the fluffy brunet only seemed to attract deranged males at that was where the mystery lied if you asked him. Oh well, love was pretty much a mystery for the rain guardian anyway. Takeshi had dated a few times over the years, he knew the ladies found him charming, but it had resulted in one-night stands and weird stalkers so he mostly stopped going out in the daylight. Playing with his Famiglia was a lot more fun eitherway.

"Takeshi-kun ? Is everything okay ...? " Said Tsuna's soft voice behind him.  
"As always Tsuna, as always." He answered, smile softer than before. "But your suitors are always funny."  
"Of course you would find them funny ! I can't even go to the bathroom without one of them trying to molest me !" The young boss pouted, looking tired.  
"Well, they ARE getting kind of despererate... Maybe it's time you choose one of them ?"

Tsuna sent him a glare before crossing his arms.

"There's no way I'm letting any of these rabid beasts near me or my virginity !"

Takeshi laughed. "But Tsuna... I can't play the chastity belt for you forever ! It's funny to see their antics, but some of them have been looking at me weirdly for the past few weeks. I actually think Hayato tried to hurt me yesterday. I'm not sure though " He mused "Bianchi came in and he got a stomachache before anything happened."

Tsuna sweatdropped, he somehow doubted that Gokudera had just wanted to hurt his friend. Suddenly, a conversation he had with Reborn some days ago came back to him.

"Takeshi-kun... I might have an idea. I-I'm not sure you'll be okya with it but it's the only thing I can think of right now."

Tsuna started fidgeting, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks while Takeshi tilted his head, curious.

"You see, Reborn gave me an idea. Ta-Takeshi-kun ! Be my b-b-b-boyfriend please !"

For a moment, the young man simply stared at his boss, mouth agape. A nervous laugh then escaped his lips and, quickly enough he was practically rolling on the floor. If he had to be honnest, Takeshi knew it was mostly a hysterical response to a situation a couldn't handle. What had Reborn done ? Since when had Tsuna lost to the insanity of the Vongola Estate ? In front of him, Tsuna suddenly squealed, realising what he had just said and blushed a lot harder than before.

"No, no, no ! I-I didn't mean it like that ! I-I... You said I should choose somebody and before Reborn mentionned something like that too..." He suddenly looked away "He said that if I didn't want to end up with one of... them, I had to find someone else, even if it was only a decoy."

Takeshi stopped laughing, this was still insane but... If he understood correctly what Tsuna whantedfrom him then maybe, just maybe he could go along with it.

"So, you want me to be your fake boyfriend to make the others give up ?" Tsuna nodded. "Maa, maa, that could actually be fun~. But Tsuna, it would only postpone the problem."

Honestly, he was a little worried. Stopping Hayato and Kyouya from killing him would be simple enough as he knew their attempts would be half-hearted. But a masquerade isn't made to last forever and, as soon as their "couple" would end, everything would turn back to the insane routine they had now.

"I-I know it's just a temporary solution but it would give time to think about an actual solution... Or at least a way to calm things enough for me to live without fearing my own guardians are will rape me in my sleep."  
"Haha ! You have a point. I'll play along, it might just be fun after all~"

A shadow moved next to them as the number one hitman suddenly appeared. Tsuna didn't scream, he had stopped doing that a few years back, but Reborn's sudden appearances still made him flinch. Takeshi chuckled.

"R-Reborn, what do you want ?" Tsuna loved his tutor, he was Family, but he honestly did not trust him.  
"Well, Dame-Tsuna, now that you have a boyfriend-" Tsuna squealed and blushed, Rebon ignored him, Takeshi sighed with a indulging smile. "We have to make a few arrangments and plan the announcment. It is going to be spectacular."

And they believed him. There would be fainting and screams. And some pretty bloody fights knowing the other guardians. Takeshi knew the fluffy Decimo would hate it, but to him it seemed like it would be a very interesting day. He quite looked forward to it and shared a playful look with Reborn. The ex-Arcobaleno made a face that told him he would be cackling maniacally if his hitman dignity didn't stop him.

"Maa, it is going to be fun."


	2. Table Manners

The next days were relatively calm. Well, as calm as it could be in a mafia HQ full of desperates young males. Fortunately, most of the guardians had been sent on short-term assignments which gave Takeshi, Tsuna and Reborn time to plan the future "relationship". Although Tsuna and Reborn seemed to take it all very seriously - and yet with a very different mindset -, Takeshi mostly kept to himself, deciding to go with the flow. Having never been in an actual relationship, he felt like taking this too seriously would just make it seem forced and... He just wasn't that kind of guy. His accomplices would surely give him instructions here and there anyway.

It was decided that they would announce the existence of TakeTsuna - Reborn really had too much free time lately - to the others at diner, when everybody was back. And sure enough, three days later, the ex-Arcobaleno was raising his glass and dropping the bomb.

"Ciaossu everybody. I would like to raise a toast to Dame-Tsuna's love life which is finally moving forward !"

Next to him, Tsuna nearly dropped his own glass before flushing. Around the table, the guardians fell into a heavy silence.

"What do you mean, Reborn-san ?" asked Hayato with a scowl. Hibari, Lambo and Mukuro also glared at the hitman with tight jaw.

"Just what I said : Tsuna has finally chosen somebody." Reborn answered with a devilish grin. "He chose Takeshi and they will function as an item from now on. You don't get a say in this matter."

Glass shattered and a panicked Vongola Decimo began trembling. For a few seconds, nothing happened and Takeshi could practically feel the air weighing on his shoulders. A nervous laugh escaped him when four pairs of eyes locked on him, seething with rage. A low menacing growl came from Hibari and all hell broke lose.

Suddenly, the swordwman couldn't seem to distinguish up from down or right from left. Gokudera was yelling profanities, mostly about baseball freaks and perverted swordwmen while rummaging through his pockets. Glasses, plates and cutlery went flying, blinding Takeshi. Fortunately, his instincts were good enough for him to avoid most of the dammage and block aggressive tonfas before cutting down explosives. However, no matter how good he was, there was no way he could avoid four upset guardians in a space like the dining room and, after a few more minutes, he felt himself being cornered. He was ready to ask nicely for a bit of pity, a tick in his right eyelid and an hysterical chuckle on the lips, when the dining table crashed on the wall next to his head. All men turned to face a very angry, very much in Hyper Dying Will mode Tsuna whose flame was burning bright on his forehead.

The small brunet strode right towards them and Takeshi's assailants stepped aside, aside from Hayato whose kneeling form was crying for his Tenth to forgive him.

"I will be very clear, " Tsunayoshi began "None of you is allowed to even try to hurt Takeshi. He is mine and I am his and what I do with my love life has nothing to do with any of you."

Seeing no reaction, Tsuna grabbed Takeshi's collar and forced a kiss on him. The eyes of the taller man only had the time to widen before his boss moved back to stare sternly at his other guardians.

"This." He gestured to Takeshi and himself "Does. Not. Concern. Any. Of. You."

On that note, he grabbed Takeshi and stormed out of the room without paying attention to the fainting sounds behind them.

It took all the way back to Tsuna's quarters for him to calm down and for his flame to go out. As soon as that was the case, he let out a high pitch squeal and jumped back from Takeshi, beet red.

"T-T-Takeshi-kun ! I-I'm so sorry ! Oh my god !" He stumbled and fell on the floor, unable to look his guardian in the eye.  
"Maa, maa, don't worry about it, Tsuna. It isn't a big deal, but I'm pretty sure you just stunned them for a while." He burst into laughter, just imagining the state in which his comrades must have been.

Tsuna frowned for a second before a giggle escaped him too and, soon, both of them had to support themselves on the walls. Still gripping their stomachs, they entered Vongola Decimo's appartments. A teary eyed brunet smiled to his dark-haired counterpart. "I'm going to take a shower. Please, settle down..."

Takeshi watched his friend leave, slowly realising that yes. He would have to settle down as Reborn had decided he would share a room with Tsuna for as long as they were "together". Not completely at ease, Takeshi simply figured he would get comfortable and got rid of his vest and shoes before climbing onto the large bed he would have to share with Tsuna. Not too far from him, he could hear the shower running. His thought focused on his fluffy friend.

 _Thump._

Huh. What was that ? He ignored it and focused on the diner that never really happened. The young man giggled, thinking of the face Hayato made when Reborn announced Tsuna and him were an item and Tsuna blushing face.

 _Thump._

His mind wandered to the kiss. Sure, it was perfect for their act but he really had not seen that one coming.

 _Thump._

Tsuna's lips were pink and and very soft, he recalled.

 _Thump._

He really needed to sleep. Yes, that was it.

When Tsuna came out of the bathroom, a bit later, he searched for his friend's form and tripped on the shoes lying in front of the bed. Mumbling about untidy baseballers, he flushed again when he realised Takeshi currently appeared to be asleep in his bed. Their bed. Ugh. The brunet stood there for a while unable to join in "boyfriend". When he finally did, his hands were shaking lightly and he curled on himself, as far away from Takeshi's warm body as he could.

Too absorbed in his embarassment, he never noticed a red-tinted ear peaking in the middle of wild black hair.

* * *

 **So yeah, that came out of my brain today and I figured I would share it. Takeshi's cluesse and Tsuna is a kitty with claws, I kinda like it :3**

 **See you next time !**


	3. Where Even Calm Water Gets Troubled

**Hello there, it's been a while. Sorry about that, I had a rather busy month and did not get many chances to write. Anyways, here's chapter three, I hope you like it !**

* * *

Takeshi woke up to soft rays of sunshine and a weird tickling sensation under his nose. He groaned lightly and tried to move his arm to get rid of the itch but he realised he couldn't. Surprised, he popped an eye open to see his boss and best friend sleeping peacefully on his chest. This had somehow become a common occurence during the last two weeks. Sure, the first few times had startled them both, making Tsuna run away and nearly fainting while Takeshi laughed hysterically. If he had to be honest, the Rain guardian thought his nervous laugh had come out enough for a whole year during just these two weeks but he was slowly getting used Tsuna's presence close to him. However, right now, he needed to sneeze and his right arm was numb. Using his other arm, he gently nudged Tsuna's shoulder.

"Tsuna ?" He whispered.

All he got was a whimper and the Vongola Decimo snuggling closer. A chuckle later, he nudged Tsuna again. It took the young man another three attempts begore he actually convinced the fluffy male on his chest to wake up. Grumbling about mornings and a mean Takeshi-kun, the small brunet rolled on his side of the bed and wrapped himself further into the sheets. Takeshi cast him a fond glance before getting up and quickly going into the bathroom. When he got out, Tsuna was already dressed and waiting. Takeshi smiled and let his boss finish his small morning routine before they headed to breakfast. As always, the meal was rather calm. Most guardians were still sleeping or in the middle of some morning training so the only person at the table was Reborn.

"Yamamoto, Dame-Tsuna." He greeted them.  
"Good morning Reborn !" Answered Tsuna cheerfully. Strangely enough, years of working as a boss had made him a morning person. Takeshi assumed it was because morning was the only time he was not harassed either by his famiglia or paperwork.

The rain guardian himself had always been an early-riser, although it mostly involved working with his father at the sushi retaurant or training. So, he quite liked enjoying the morning peacefully with his best friend. He addressed a simple "Yo !" to the hitman and sat next to Tsunayoshi who was already munching on some eggs. When Reborn went to get more food, he discretly took Tsuna's mushrooms into his own plate. The smaller man sent him a grateful smile, he really did not like mushrooms, never had, but his dangerous tutor was pretty strict about food wasting so even the Vongola Decimo had to eat his mushrooms. However, said tutor also seemed to have eyes in his back.

"Yamamoto, you're spoiling him."  
"Maa, maa... Don't be mad ! It's just an exception !" Takeshi countered with a chuckle while Tsuna flushed guiltily.  
"You say that but you are worse than a married couple. I'm ready to bet you would do it at every meal if I let you."

And it was true, Takeshi realised with an embarassed smile. He glanced at Tsuna who was currently trying to disappear into his own clothes and a weird feeling settled into his stomach. Absently, the young man wondered if he had caught something as this sensation seemed to appear more and more often. It wasn't important though, he still felt okay and Tsunayoshi wanted them to try a new cafe that afternoon. The boss had been kind of desperate, even resorting to the puppy dog eyes to make him say yes. Takeshi had agreed, of course he had. After all, Tsuna rarely got an occasion to go out. Also, Takeshi was weak against him. He admitted it to himself because, aside from the fact that he had no reason to say no to his friend, he wasn't sure he would be able to. The pleading eyes and trembling lower lip were just too much for him, even when they were just in his imagination. The weird feeling in his stomach appeared again.

"By the way," Reborn went on "I will need you both this afternoon. Xanxus has destroyed part of the Varia training grounds so Dame-Tsuna has a lot of paperwork to do."  
"Can't it way ,Reborn ?! " The mafia boss whined with a distressed look. "We had plans this afternoon !"  
"Your plans will wait, Xanxus needs the grounds operational in a week for the new recruits and ours are already fully booked. Colonello and Lal are coming."

Tsuna sighed.

"But-"  
"No." Reborn took out Leon who had morphed into a gun and sot straight at the young man. Tsuna quickly slid under the table whith a high-pitch yelp. However, Takeshi's body had moved without his consent and he saw himslef slice the bullet in half before it ever got the chance to go near Tsunayoshi. Reborn smirked.

"As usual, you are quick to react Yamamoto. I also have a small task for you this afternoon."  
"Yeah, sure." Takeshi agreed, he had not had a mission since the beginning of this strange fake couple thing and he missed feeling useful. Not that he felt useless with the fluffy brunet but simply staying next to him was not exactly the action-packed life he was used to.

"You'll be okay, Tsuna ?" He wasn't worried, just careful. Tsuna had always been a magnet for trouble. Fun trouble, but trouble nonetheless. Without thinking he reached to touch his friend's cheek.  
"Don't worry about me, Takeshi-kun... " Tsuna smiled, a little pink the cheeks. Cute. "It's just paperwork, the worst I could do is fall asleep."

They both laughed and the rain guradian let his arm fall back to his side. Tsuna had a meeting with the Cavalone famiglia so Hayato joined them a spent most of the morning glaring and sneering at him. Takeshi let him. The storm guardian's adoration for Tsuna ran deep and bickering one-sidedly was a speciality of his anyway, so he guessed it just made him feel better.

When the afternoon came, Takeshi left Tsuna in his office and went to meet Reborn in the hall. The tutor was smiling, a small unrecognisable glint in his eyes. Takeshi didn't really pay attention, Reborn always had an hidden agenda, trying to figure out what was going on in that spiky head of his was useless at best.

"We won't be gone for long." The tutor began " You just have to cover me while I get rid of a few annoyances. Small fry thinking it can lay claim on our city."  
"Shouldn't you talk to Tsuna about it ? " Takeshi questionned, curious.  
"Nah. Dame-Tsuna is busy and it won't take us more than 2 hours, they're just street rats playing with fire."

The rain guardian didn't ask for more. It wasn't the first time Reborn had chosen to eliminate himself a threat he deemed unworthy of the Vongola Decimo's attention. So they went. As predicted, the opponents were nothing more than a small gang trying to make a name for themselves in the underworld. Unfortunnately for them, they had landed on Vongola territory and Nnobody messes with the Vongola. Especially since Tsunayoshi was very much against any crime comitted for the sake of comitting it. Basically, he only allowed violence against criminal organisations and corrupt VIPs that reprensented a threat for the population or his friends. Too bad for them, the gang had killed a number of innocent people. So the famiglia had to step in.

When Takeshi explained that to the men in front of him, a serene smile on his lips, they looked incredulous for a few seconds. Reborn sighed when they insulted Tsuna's mental health, although it was pretty creative, and watched as the smile on Takeshi's face froze. Really, even street rats should know better.

Once the body were disposed of, Reborn made a show of looking at his watch. His young colleague watched him curiously.

"Perfect, we're right on time. You might want to rush to Tsuna's side though, Yamamoto."  
"What do you mean ?" Takeshi really did not like the smirk on Reborn's face.  
"Well, Mukuro was supposed to come back an hour ago to report to Tsuna. But you know how he gets when he's tired."

Oh, Takeshi knew. He had gotten a bit... Forceful with the mist guardian a few times already. The older man always got creepier when he lacked sleep. More perverted too. This was bad.

Whithout another word, the young guardian took off and nearly flew to the mansion. He kept running until he reached Tsuna's office and froze when he heard a whimper.

"Mu-Mukuro, please stop !"

The only answered he heard was a muffled, creepy laugh.

"N-no ! Not there ! Muku- Hmph !"

Something slamed against a wall and Takeshi's eyes widened. He practically demolished the door and looked around the room, his blood loud in his ears. That's when he spotted Tsuna. The small boss was caged between one of the wood panels near his windows and Mukuro's body. He struggling to get free but the mist guradian had him trapped and one his hands was groping Tsunyoshi's butt. He glanced at Takeshi with smug look.

"Aw, it seems like we're being interrupted Tsunayoshi-kun..." Mukuro purred "It's okay, there is always next time." He then turned to the rain guardian and smirked before bending and kissing his boss straight on the lips.

A katana flew right past his head, cutting a few strands of hair and Mukuro faced Takeshi.

"Don't be mad rain guardian, it's a game. I just won this set, kufufufu."

On that note, the mist guardian slid past Takeshi and exited the room. The young guardian rushed to Tsuna who was slumped on the floor, his face pale.

"Tsuna ! Tsuna ! Are you okay ?" Takeshi didn't really know why he felt so distraught, but he was nearly sick ith worry and another feeling close to anger.

"I'm okay ... Just a bit shocked I guess." Tsuna shot him a weak smile and, this time, anger flared.

"How could you let him take advantage of you that way ! What if he had gone further than that !" He wasn't yelling, not really, but he didn't feel like himself at the moment. "You are strong Tsuna ! Stronger than him ! So why ... ?!"

Tsuna looked at him like a deer caughts in headlights.

"I-I... He's family and it's not like he would do anything really serious..."  
"What I saw here was serious enough. I know he would never hurt you but ...t's Mukuro, he's unpredictable and if you let him do what he wants, he'll do it again !"

Takeshi was scowling deeply. Still angry but getting more and more confused by his own behaviour. In front of him, Tsuna tilted his head.

"Takeshi-kun ? Why do you seem so angry ? You're never angry."

The young man was dumbfounded. His boss was acting like he expected him to simply laugh it off. But, now that he thought about it, a few weeks ago, he might have. He would've chased Mukuro off, maybe secretly let Hayato after him, and scolded lightly Tsuna about the dangers of being too soft on psychotic ex-prisoners. He sighed, feeling his anger subside.

"It's just... You really shouldn't let people take advantage of you. I know Mukuro won't do anything worse than what happened today, but you have to realise that you're kind of leading him on."  
"Leading... What ?!" Tsuned blushed brightly.  
"Well yeah" Takeshi went on "He's a bit twisted so he probably thinks you don't mind that much if you don't actively reject him..."

The rain guardian scratch the back of his neck. He was getting uncomfortable, something he was not used to.

"You have a point..." Tsunayoshi sighed, looking quite guilty. Takeshi knew he was bad at fighting for himself and rejecting people so it propably was a big struggle for him to admit that he let his subordinate go way too far.

"There's still something I don't understand though." Soft brown eyes focused on ambers ones. "Wh-Why do you c-care so much ? Well, m-maybe you don't. It's just... You look like you c-care. A bit. I don't know..."

Quickly, Tsuna looked away, fidgetting. Takeshi could see him twisting his hand and flushing deeply. The tip of his ears reached a pretty deep red and, not for the first time, he found himself trying to touch his boss. Hypnotized, Takeshi watched his fingers slowly graze the shell of Tsuna's ear before combing thourgh a fex strands of caramel hair. In front of him, the owner of said hair look up to him. He could see hesitation and bewilderment in the brown eyes. But there was something else. Something akin to hope and a small pleading. The rain guardian stilled, unsure of what to say, unable to understand what his friend expected of him.

"Takeshi-...kun ?" "I, well, of course I care !" Takeshi laughed nervously and it sounded fake to his ears. "You're my best friend Tsuna. I want you safe and happy. It just can't be good for you to get molested like that by someone you're not interested in !" He froze. "Unless ...?"  
"Oh ! No ! Oh god no ! " Tsuna frantically denied "I'm definitely not interested in Mukuro !"  
"Good." Shocked eyes met Takeshi's and he realised what had just escaped him. "I mean, I'm your fake boyfriend ! If you were interested in someone, it would be better if that person knew you are actually single, no ? And Mukuro is not exactly a healthy person so ..."

Tsuna eyes dulled just a bit but he nodded. Takeshi helped him get up and dusted his shirt. He was still uneasy and felt like running away, a very rare occurrence for him. With an akward pat on Tsuna's head, he asked one last time if the sall brunet was fine. A soft nod answered him and he excused himself to go training. He avoided company during the rest of the day and, when he slid into the covers that night, his ears were pink while he stared at his boss' back.


End file.
